“Teens who were romantically involved at an early age, engaged in delinquent activity, and placed a premium on hanging out with physically attractive peers were thought to be popular by their peers at age 13. But over time, this sentiment faded: By 22, those once-cool teens were rated by their peers as being less competent in managing social relationships. They were also more likely to have had significant problems with alcohol and drugs, and to have engaged in criminal activities, according to the study.”
That is the conclusion of a decade-long study by the University of Virginia that appears in the journal Child Development.
What is unseen by the researchers, is the connection to personality temperament. If they would have given the participants in the study a personality assessment, they would have seen the connection almost immediately. They should have asked themselves, “what is the personality temperament of the cool kids?”
Since they didn’t, I’ll reveal the answer to you.
The common thread of the cool kids, is that they share many personality traits. They have the Sensing-Perceiving traits in the Myers Briggs nomenclature. This combination is the definition that I use for the “Warrior temperament.”
If you look at the personality characteristics of these cool kids, you’ll notice that they are very similar to the traits of those with the Warrior personality temperament. They are the free spirits that yearn for the freedom to do their own thing. The crave variety and excitement, and so they make those experiences happen. That means that there are many fun and interesting things happen when you’re around them. Warriors are also opportunistic, and many of their plans work out. A lot of times, they are very gifted athletically, which makes them stand out among their classmates. When the game is on the line, they are the clutch hitters that you want on your team.
In addition, they are often blessed with enhanced beauty characteristics, particularly: sexual attractiveness. It could be said that they won the beauty lottery. The combination of athleticism and attractiveness is a powerful combination. Most people see this as them having superior genes. But I see it as a survival adaptation for battle. You need to be athletic for hand-to-hand fighting, and having good looks could be considered a good ruse to confuse your opponent. How is that? Because people don’t want to fight someone that is good looking. That gives the good-looking person an advantage in combat. They last longer on the battlefield because of their good looks.
In grade school, they use their good looks to get what they want. If they want the teacher to give them a good grade, they might display a sad puppy dog face, and the teacher’s heart melts like butter. Many times, it is unintentional, it just happens because everyone else associates beauty with being good. After all, evil is always associated with ugly. So if they ain’t ugly, they must be good; and so people treat them as having good intentions and let them slide more than they would let others slide.
A case in point is the number of “facebook likes” a handsome felon got just for his mugshot. His face went viral, with over 33,000 people that “liked” him, even though he was considered extremely dangerous and has been convicted of crimes at least six times.
The “bad-boy” has the Warrior temperament, and this is why a lot of women fall for them.
People Want To Be Cool
What this new University of Virginia study is implying, and I agree with, is that everyone yearns to be just like them. There is no doubt that they are desirable and cool. Even people with the Warrior personality temperament want to be with other Warriors and be like them. In order to be around them, they will start dating earlier than other personality types. Warriors dating other Warriors is very common, because “likes attract likes.”
The Dark Side of The Equation
While everyone wants to be like Warriors, there is a dark side to their personality temperament that no one talks about.
For example, because they seek variety and excitement, they often get bored in school. They don’t see the point of it, because they’ve been able to get everything they wanted through exploiting their natural athletic talents and attractiveness gift. How often are athletes promoted in school, even if their grades are below par?
They also yearn to make a big impact in their group. And while this can be a good thing, it can lead them to take enormous risks. It could be a physical risk, like reckless driving or experimenting with drugs, or even simple things like having a sassy mouth and seeing how much they can get away with in class. The class clown usually makes a big impact, and gets the attention that they seek.
In addition to that, the urge to exploit an opportunity is never ceasing. And this can be a curse. There is always a new opportunity to go after, even if the last one they chased hasn’t paid off yet. If you are constantly jumping from one money-making scheme to the next one, you often end up broke. In effect, you’re switching from investing to gambling.
Unfortunately it is the same with their social and dating life. They typically get bored with their current partner and have roving eyes. They hop from one relationship to the next, thinking that the next Warrior-type partner will be more loyal to them. You’ll see this in every single Hollywood gossip magazines, where they report how some handsome actor, married to the most attractive actress, is caught cheating.
Over time, the constant opportunity hopping and the risk taking has an effect. Except for a few very gifted athletes and actors, most folks with the Warrior personality temperament live paycheck to paycheck. That is not so cool, unfortunately.
And this is what the new study by the University of Virginia is seeing. The cool kids, by the time they reach their early twenties, just don’t seem so cool anymore by the the rest of the population.
Besides that, life for them becomes more dangerous, especially for those cool kids that drift into a more rebellious life. They are at a significant risk of dying at a young age according to another study. “Our findings are shocking,” said lead author Linda Teplin, the Owen L. Coon Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. “Death rates in our sample of delinquent youth, ages 15 to 19, are nearly twice those of troops in combat in wartime Iraq and Afghanistan.”
Meanwhile… The other three personality types have learned to adapt to the situation of being on the lower rungs of the coolness scale. While in middle school and the early years of high school, they may have felt distraught about the situation, most of them figure out how to get things to work out better for themselves. The “cool” kids don’t generally get involved in student government, and that is to their future detriment. Student government is dominated by the un-cool kids, and it pays off for them in their future. One study showed that fifty-eight percent of executives participated in student government in either high school or college. They do find their own paths to success that doesn’t require being labeled “cool.”
For example, the Strategists personality types immerse themselves in school work and find that doors start opening up for them with good grades and their passion for learning and logic. Colleges take an interest and give them merit scholarships. A good majority of them go on to having professional careers and higher paying salaries.
The portion of the population with the Morale Officer personality type come alive with the hope of making a difference in the world by helping others. They start banding together to consolidate their power base. And other people like being around them, not because they are cool, but because they don’t hold their failures against them. But the Morale Officers begin to see the people with the Warrior temperament as hedonistic narcissists, not as the cool kids anymore. For them, to be cool, you have to be compassionate.
>And the Logistical types, who were the lowest on the totem pole of “cool” during high school, find their way through life too. They generally seek out continuing educational opportunities that have practical applications (where it is easy to get a job after college). They make good employees because of their values to concepts like duty and responsibility. For them, the Warriors are seen as being irresponsible.
You Don’t Have To Be Cool To Be Successful
From a personality temperament standpoint, I would agree with the conclusion of the University of Virginia study. The people with the Warrior personality temperament have early advantages in opportunities. But as time goes by, they have to amp it up to get noticed, and that seems to burn them by the time they reach their early twenties. Prisons are filled to capacity, and most of the inmates have the Warrior personality temperament.
How does this relate to selling?
This is easy. To sell to someone, you have to be able to relate to them. If you understand their personality type, you have a better idea of what is going on inside of their head. This allows you to communicate to them in the language that they feel comfortable hearing.