What makes pop singer Kelly Clarkson different? It is that she doesn’t fit the typical personality style that you think of for a pop singer, and she became successful despite it.
Kelly Clarkson has the Myers Briggs personality archetype of ESFJ. Because she has both the Sensing and Judging traits (SJ), this puts her in what I call the Logistical personality temperament.
By contrast, the music and entertainment industries are dominated by people with the Myers Briggs Sensing-Perceiving (SP) traits, which is the definition of what I call the Warrior personality temperament. The difference that you’ll see between Logisticals and Warriors is the values that guide their life.
To be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to Kelly Clarkson’s career, specifically because she is a singer. Because most people in her chosen industry have the Warrior personality temperament, I just assumed that any hype about her would be similar to what goes around for other Warrior types, like the ones I talked about in my last post, which was about Warriors in battle mode.
What caught my eye recently is the flack that Kelly Clarkson seems to have gotten because of her body weight. Why would people care about her weight, is my question?
To understand this, you have to look at the personality temperament of the people that are calling into question her weight. Like Us Magazine web site:
If you understand that the entertainment industry is dominated by people with the Warrior personality temperament, you can begin to understand why they are so fixated on a person’s weight. For Warriors, they place a high value on personal appearance. They hold this to be one of their guiding principles. For them, to achieve success, you have to look flawless.
It gets under their skin when a person that doesn’t hold this same guiding principle becomes successful. But don’t think that I’m just picking on people with the Warrior personality temperament. This happens with all personality types. Commit this to memory:
People don’t like it when their values are shown to be unimportant.
Unimportant means that what they hold as a “value” is independent of becoming successful. In other words, it is not in the equation of success.
For the Warrior’s: to get to the point of being successful requires that a person look fabulous. That is part of their formula for becoming successful.
What Kelly Clarkson has shown to them, is that you can become successful without looking like a super model. Because it clashes with their success formula, the people with the Warrior personality temperament don’t understand it. This actually causes cognitive dissonance in their minds, because the formula they’ve been using their entire lives might have a flaw. They don’t like that, because they can’t understand how their success formula can be wrong.
In reality, the emotion that goes through their mind is fear. Remember, fear is triggered when you feel one of your values is being threatened. They feel that their value of “looking fabulous” might be taken away from their success formula.
What the emotion of fear does: it causes you to take an action to protect the thing you value. This is why fear is so often used in marketing and sales – it triggers action!
And in this case, they have to protect “looking fabulous” as being in the formula of success. The action they take, is to try to take down the person that isn’t following their own success formula. As seen in the previous blog post, people attack in another person that value that they themselves hold dear. They attack her weight, because they are defending their value of “low weight” as part of the formula for looking fabulous.
What does Kelly Clarkson think?
As this video shows, she doesn’t care about it so much:
At around the 34 second mark, she calls it “silly and fruitless, and that is annoying.”
What you should learn from this, from the perspective of someone in sales or marketing, is this key point:
People get annoyed when you try to impose your values (your own success formula) onto them. They are guiding their life by a different set of values, and they don’t have the time or inclination to change their own success strategy at this point in their life.
Take note of this: annoyance, if persisted, leads to anger.
In other words, once a person is annoyed, they are just a short step from becoming angry. All it takes is for you to keep pestering them about the value they hold dear. Because eventually, they’ll feel that you’re attacking their values (their success formula). And as soon as they feel that something they value is being attacked, anger is triggered. Always true, 100% of the time!
If you sense that the prospect you are talking to is feeling annoyed, BACK DOWN! Do not scratch that scab. If you do, you’ll lose the sale, and have made an enemy.
In Defense of Logisticals Body Weight…
Excess body weight is an unfortunate byproduct of the Logistical personality temperament. As I revealed before, Logisticals are born with the fat gene. They put on weight easily, and it is difficult to take off once it is on.
As I mentioned previously, Kelly Clarkson was not on my radar. But now that I’ve researched her for this blog post, I’m liking her a lot more. The reason is that she has the same personality temperament that I have, and because of that, we share a lot of the same values. Sharing the same values is the real key to rapport and having someone like you!
What Do Your Customers Value?
If you would like to discover the values of the people that you’re selling to, I recommend the kindle book: “Selling by Personality Type.” In it, I reveal the different values of each of the four personality temperaments. Once you know their values, you have the secret keys to selling to them. They are the keys, because as you saw here, their emotions are determined by how you interact with their values. You can cause annoyance, fear or anger by how you treat what they hold to be their guiding principles for success.